on the road again

I'm not even sure what to say. Yesterday, September 29th I got 8 years sober. I remember whhen I had about 6 months sober I was feeling pretty disheartened and I wasn't sure this sobriety thing would be worthwhile. Mainly I wasn't sure I'd make it. I was afraid of putting myself at risk of losing a whole lot if I managed to stay sober for say, ten years. Ten years seemed a lifetime away back then and now it doesn't seem so far away at all. I was right about one thing though. It would suck to lose what I've got now.
But really, that's not why I started this blog post. I wanted to write because I started dating someone and I'm scared. It's really hard to take it slow and just enjoy the moment. I want so badly, just as I've always wanted, someone to love me, to be my salvation. There is a part of me that yearns to be loved by someone unconditionally and forever. I don't know why I crave it so much. I have it with my friends. I have it with my family. It's just nice to be chosen and to feel special. Now that I write that its nice to see it for what it is. I really do believe I have all I need and more in my life to be fully happy and whole today.
I'm going to try to let my friends and family know that I think they're special. I think it will help.

It is a happy new year

i feel great. I've been playing around with henna tattoos. I could never do it for real, but arent they cool?
I reallly like my new job. I love the city I live in. I love the apt I live in. I'm having a lot of fun in life. I bought a new surfboard after moving here to Tel Aviv and I've been surfing whenever there are decent waves. Somedays I get to go before work which is awesome. I wake up early, walk sheemy (the dog), and I jump on my scooter, Pepe La Moto, with my board on my side and drive the two minutes down to the beach. Not a bad life at all.
I wish I could say my love life has been going as well. I'm a lot more cynical and afraid of being hurt nowadays. I feel like when I was younger I was so eager to throw myself into something if it felt right. Now I don't know what to do. In someways I feel like people have gotten more complicated and women less predictable. Sadly enough, it's actually that they have become predictably unpredictable. Anyway, I just got dissapointed again. I was seeing a girl I really liked and I felt that she really liked me, and it ended so she could be confused with her ex boyfriend.
I'm going to work on a new art piece for my house and I was thinking of using the words "loving is courageous but there's no other choice"or "love like you've never been hurt."
A few exciting things worth mentioning: At the end of this month I have eight years sober (thank you god). I just bought a plane ticket to chicago for thanksgiving for our family reunion there.
I'd have to say I'm happy with this jeremy blog entry.

SURPRISE!!!

today is the 2nd to last day of work for me. I've been so anxious to go and start my new life in Tel Aviv and I don't like or deal with goodbyes that well, so I've really just been wanting it to be over here.
I've also had a nagging guilty feeling that I'm leaving my job after six months and I think I've been preogecting my shitty feelings on everyone else and then thinking that they must be mad at me.

That's why I was so surprisd when they gave me a going away party today.

They called me into the main office at about 4:30 and everyone was in there with cake and drinks. It made me uncomfortably emotional even just standing there, so when people started speaking I sort of momentarily panicked.
I said a few words though and it was actually really nice in the end and felt like a good way to have closure. It was a good reminder of how sometimes by doing things i don't want to I'll actually be happy with how I feel afterwards.

2 more days

two more days and i am done at my current job. the next morning i'm going to sign the lease for my great apt in Tel Aviv.
Once again, things are falling into place for me. It's an amazing reminder of what can happen when you go for what you want and let go of the results.
So, no more Crytec and hello The Nation Traffic Ltd.
I really have a good feeling about this new job and I'm hoping I can grow there and stay for a few years.

I miss my family and friends at home and i can't wait until the next time I visit. It will have been so long.

lost my wallet

I lost my wallet tonight. It had my Israeli identity card and a bank card and about $50 in it. I used it to buy a skateboard right before I went to the gym. I'd been thinking about this skateboard for a week now since I tried it out the first time in the store. It's a weird hybrid skateboard with only two wheels, one on each end. It's supposed to simulate a surfboard. I went and worked out after I bought it and after my workout, at dinner, I noticed it wasn't there. I didn't stress, I knew it was probably at the store or the gym. Later that night I got a call that it somone found it and my credit card, no $50 though. That's the end of my boring story.

MORE exciting is that I got two job interviews lined up for later this week!!

Times they are a changin

Well, it's another case of the I wish it were a real sunday blues, but I'm here working because thats the way we do it here in the land.
I'm a little bit in many places at once. Here in Be'er Sheva, in Jerusalem a year ago, back home after deciding to come back to the states, and in Tel Aviv settled in my new home and Job. I don't know how exactly this is all turnin out but I'm hangin on the seat of my pants to see. that is what i'm reminding myself of anyway. this is all just one big adventure.

Thrilled by Thriller

Just when you think the world can't get any better, along comes the remake to Michael Jackson's Thriller.
It's rare that a remake out does the original, but I think we have a contender here.