I'm not even sure what to say. Yesterday, September 29th I got 8 years sober. I remember whhen I had about 6 months sober I was feeling pretty disheartened and I wasn't sure this sobriety thing would be worthwhile. Mainly I wasn't sure I'd make it. I was afraid of putting myself at risk of losing a whole lot if I managed to stay sober for say, ten years. Ten years seemed a lifetime away back then and now it doesn't seem so far away at all. I was right about one thing though. It would suck to lose what I've got now.
But really, that's not why I started this blog post. I wanted to write because I started dating someone and I'm scared. It's really hard to take it slow and just enjoy the moment. I want so badly, just as I've always wanted, someone to love me, to be my salvation. There is a part of me that yearns to be loved by someone unconditionally and forever. I don't know why I crave it so much. I have it with my friends. I have it with my family. It's just nice to be chosen and to feel special. Now that I write that its nice to see it for what it is. I really do believe I have all I need and more in my life to be fully happy and whole today.
I'm going to try to let my friends and family know that I think they're special. I think it will help.
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