on the road again

I'm not even sure what to say. Yesterday, September 29th I got 8 years sober. I remember whhen I had about 6 months sober I was feeling pretty disheartened and I wasn't sure this sobriety thing would be worthwhile. Mainly I wasn't sure I'd make it. I was afraid of putting myself at risk of losing a whole lot if I managed to stay sober for say, ten years. Ten years seemed a lifetime away back then and now it doesn't seem so far away at all. I was right about one thing though. It would suck to lose what I've got now.
But really, that's not why I started this blog post. I wanted to write because I started dating someone and I'm scared. It's really hard to take it slow and just enjoy the moment. I want so badly, just as I've always wanted, someone to love me, to be my salvation. There is a part of me that yearns to be loved by someone unconditionally and forever. I don't know why I crave it so much. I have it with my friends. I have it with my family. It's just nice to be chosen and to feel special. Now that I write that its nice to see it for what it is. I really do believe I have all I need and more in my life to be fully happy and whole today.
I'm going to try to let my friends and family know that I think they're special. I think it will help.

It is a happy new year

i feel great. I've been playing around with henna tattoos. I could never do it for real, but arent they cool?
I reallly like my new job. I love the city I live in. I love the apt I live in. I'm having a lot of fun in life. I bought a new surfboard after moving here to Tel Aviv and I've been surfing whenever there are decent waves. Somedays I get to go before work which is awesome. I wake up early, walk sheemy (the dog), and I jump on my scooter, Pepe La Moto, with my board on my side and drive the two minutes down to the beach. Not a bad life at all.
I wish I could say my love life has been going as well. I'm a lot more cynical and afraid of being hurt nowadays. I feel like when I was younger I was so eager to throw myself into something if it felt right. Now I don't know what to do. In someways I feel like people have gotten more complicated and women less predictable. Sadly enough, it's actually that they have become predictably unpredictable. Anyway, I just got dissapointed again. I was seeing a girl I really liked and I felt that she really liked me, and it ended so she could be confused with her ex boyfriend.
I'm going to work on a new art piece for my house and I was thinking of using the words "loving is courageous but there's no other choice"or "love like you've never been hurt."
A few exciting things worth mentioning: At the end of this month I have eight years sober (thank you god). I just bought a plane ticket to chicago for thanksgiving for our family reunion there.
I'd have to say I'm happy with this jeremy blog entry.